he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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