Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
