During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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