My friends, they love my intelligence
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
