just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
