This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize