I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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