It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
