Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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