this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
