Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
