the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize