Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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