hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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