But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
