i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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