I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I showed him my bush... on skype.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
