Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
