So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
