There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
