u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
