I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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