some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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