I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
