sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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