dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
