This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
