I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
