i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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