So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
