Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
