none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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