Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
