Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
