Just cropdusted the office
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
