I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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