So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I can't turn off my feet"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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