I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
