I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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