Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
