How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
