Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
