How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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