i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
