Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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