need another drink. this is the easiest way
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
