The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I love having hate sex.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
