My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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