i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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