i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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