Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
