i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
