YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize