Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
