I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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