He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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