3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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