Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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