Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize