You made me cry and you don't even care
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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