she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
