It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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