i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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