dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize