Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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