shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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