My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize