id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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