I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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