A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I need a hoe opinion
go on
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize