she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I have fence marks all over my body
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
