how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
