I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize