I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
