He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
