she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
