420 ftw
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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